Never make any personal remarks my teacher would say in the beginning of a group discussion session. And I would nod obediently. And then she will drop the bomb giving us the topic “Who is better of the two sexes – Girls or Boys? “
And now as others start licking their tongues in anticipation, I wander off thinking this is one of the oldest question to haunt mankind, even the graver issues like poverty or lack of basic amenities go to the secondary consideration there. And that brings me to the conclusion that even Adam and Eve would have considered that question just after Eve enjoyed the joyful bite off the apple.
So here is my considerably small contribution to the already hot topic. So I have myself decided to take a different viewpoint and see men and women as their opposite sex see’s them.
Gender Difference (Scientific)
Blah blah blah blah blah, Y chromosomes, genes, 78 separate genes which are the difference between having a vagina and a penis. ZZZZZZ…… Sorry, I fell asleep, so moving swiftly on……
Gender Difference (Reality)
Now that we have done with the greatly *cough* intriguing and mind boggling scientific stuff. In order to remain true to the essence of this hub, I will remain completely impartial.
That is to say that this is a hub which promotes gender equality and I will be using the perspectives of both males and females, a truly sexism free zone (at least until you get to the inevitable comments!) Extreme Feminists and Males Sexist Pigs:-Please be aware that this is supposed to be humorous, this is my hub and in my hub a sense of humour failure is punishable by a public stoning.
- Women think that it is a good idea to keep the remote control on the top of the television set.
- Women have a dedicated part of their brain for remembering every piece of clothing that they have ever worn, where they wore it and who they wore it with. Men can’t remember what they wore yesterday.
- Women will look at sexy men all day without their man noticing, a man will see a sexy women and stare until they are slapped by their girl.
- A women will always know what to do when somebody starts to cry. A man will panic, grab the nearest women to help and run away.
- Men will answer any simple question with a long, boring and over detailed answer. They will also answer complex and important questions with “mmm” or “yep”. I’m not too sure what a women does, but they don’t like this.
- A man will sleep through any sound. A women will hear any sound and be worried about burglars(or may be ghosts).
Now there are many other aspects to it so let us get a quick look at them one by one.
- Natures wonderful gift – Sleep
Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed. Women will somehow deteriorate during the night. And when they wake up it is like – Are you the same girl who was in bed last night ?
And yes I am not going take any sides so girls please go through the rest of the blog post before you start out to chalk a master plan on how to put up a female defamation suite against me in the court of law.
A woman or girl – considering sisters (and possibly the Ruthless Aunty living in the neighbor.) knows all about the children in the house. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and medical appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. And is not as such troubled by their presence till they stay away from the T.V. remote.
When the bill arrives, Raj, Rahul, Sam and Rohit will each throw in Rs. 20, even though the total is only Rs. 34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.
When Seema, Sonam, Aishwarya and Rani get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. And they divide the amount to the second decimal among each other.
Girls: They mature much faster than Boys. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.
Men: Most 17-year old males are still trading WWF (or Pokémon or what not) cards and giving each other punches and bumps after college. This is why college romances rarely work out.
A man will pay Rs. 10 for a Rs. 5 item he needs. A woman will pay Rs. 5 for a Rs. 10 item that she doesn’t need, but because it’s on sale.
- Men will identify the need to find something and say that they have lost it before they have even looked, hoping that their partner happens to know where it is. A women will spend 15 minutes looking for something that she doesn’t really need to find.
- Women will often put a stack of things at the bottom of the stairs when tidying so that they remember to take them up. A man will step over this stack of things.
- If told that a relative has a bought a new car a women would probably say “oh, what colour is it?”, a man would say “what type is it?
- If a man wants to buy a new suit he will say “I saw a suit that I want to buy”, if a women wants to buy a new dress she will say “I went to meet my friend reeta today, we went for a coffee, and on the way to the car park…. oh, no, it doesn’t matter…… well, oh, don’t worry it’s nothing”…. making the man complete a puzzle (and wanting to kiss her shoes to accept defeat) to establish a very simple fact.
- A man seeks praise for doing the washing up for the first time in months, whilst a woman will run out of petrol and explain that she thought ‘E’ on a petrol gauge stood for ‘Enough’
- Men learnt very quickly in childhood that small house spiders are not going to eat you in your sleep. A woman never learns this.
Ok enough of this numbering Let us continue head to head. When it comes to the “Women Logic” (Is there anything like that? (Pun intended)). They think
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. Yeah no relation, whatsoever.
Another beautiful creation of women’s logic is :
“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.”
I am still not sure from where do they get such silly quotes. But men are not much behind they modified it to :
“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.”
And for sure then He thought He should have stopped at the rough draft“.
And then sure are many other examples which go through the extremes, but one with driving is everyone’s favorite. When it comes to driving Women are sure of the road ahead as much as Toads are aware of jet engines. And men are very much aware of it even if they are lost (Never ask for directions the slogan of the international male domination federation).
And when faced by dangerous situations which require quick reflexes, the thinking levels of both the sexes vary to a very large extent. The following picture is enough to give you the idea:
When it comes to socializing. It’s okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You don’t see straight men dancing together. And although the fact the former is taken as “Chooo Chweeet”and the other “disgustiong”.
The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A (average) man would not be able to identify most of these items.
And there are also a few things like mirrors where men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface–mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe bald man’s head.
And there is also one last thing (which most males are jealous of) Handwritting;
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their “i’s” with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s”. It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.:)
P.S. :
1. Sorry for such a long post. But you do have to agree I am writing of the most debated topic of the millennium. And millenniums don’t end in a few paragraphs.
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