One of the most amazing things I have come across is that what people can really give to each other on birthdays, which might just anything from very useful to almost useless stuff as their birthday gift. One of my friends whose birthday falls on today’s rather auspicious date asked me to pen down my thoughts on Rickshawwallas.
Now being a very thoughtful (!), considerate (!!) amazing (?) intelligent (??) and witty (#@&%$) blogger that I am (bwahhahahaha) I could have sternly refused for the excuse that I have talked about one such thing before.
But she being a wonderful friend of mine (I am not writing this cheesy line because she is going to read it.) may be I am..(nah! I am not)I decided to write this topic. Another thing I would like to make this very clear that I am not witting this because this is possibly one of the most cheapest gifts I can give her…..Did I sound a bit cheap there ? But you know what? I am silly? (Right Chitazzz)
So let’s start the drill. We should start from the beginning so let’s start from the beginning (I sometimes confuse myself with the types of sentences I write!!)
Now, people may call it hiring an auto, or you may not readily agree. Let us get a situation – you are in a hurry, you get out of the gates of your building. And your heart skips a beat on the sight of an auto. (With the driver sleeping in it with his legs on his seat and head on ours.). But behold even though you are happy the driver may not always share your enthusiasm. He may be standing on the way saying “Thou shalt not pass!” .Now the regular conversation would be slightly as follows:
Me: Bhaiya, station chaloge ? (Sometimes I think the main cause of their grumpy mood is even good looking girls call them bhaiya’s)
Rickshawalla (RICK): Nahi !
Me: Par rickshaw toh khali hai. Aur mujhe jaldi hai.
RICK : Nahi.
Now this conversation may still go on with me pleading like a small boy to his teacher to give that half mark to pass an exam and he still continues with his monotonous “NAHI”. Some of them are generous enough to not even stop when you are waving your hand as if it is on fire near the road. I call them generous as the at least do not stop to insult you with their “NAHI”. If you are lucky enough to get a good (Ideal) rickshawalla then you may have done something really of some profound humanitarian cause to have such bliss.
Then when you sit. They drive like all the roads are deserted and there is some bomb attached to the bottom of the auto that will go BOOM if the needle goes below 40. And there are a few exceptions who travel so slow that you repent your decision of taking that auto as even cyclists overtake you with a grin on there face as if teasing you. And the hell breaks loose if you sit on the fourth sit.(Lucky girls ! they do not enjoy this plight!!) The driver takes about 10/11th of the seat and asks you to sit comfortably (!) in the reaming partitioned land. And to make it worse he enjoys poking you in your gut with their elbows, the situation becomes worse when it is raining. You have to shield yourself from the poking and the rain. A great balancing act. And yes you know the awkward moment when they try to drive and get to the fuel chock near you legs at the same time. And you are like “What the hell? Kya kar raha hai yeh ?”
Other salient features of our autos include:
- The headlamp so intense that even a candle will win head to head against it.
- Windshield that cracks if anything else (even wind) comes into contact.
- The polite driver talking to passengers softly at about 130 Decibels.
- Powerful engine that cranks up specially while going downhill.
- Weather proof hood that leaks only above passengers head.
- Teeny weenie wheels to dodge huge potholes.
- Exhaust pipe cum – silencer (which silences voices of screaming passengers.)
And on reaching the destination he makes a bit more effort to stop the auto a bit too far or behind than the desired location. Even if you are yelling on the top of your voice to make him stop or drive a bit ahead. Then comes the paying scenario. They never seem to have the change. It seems to me as an overdose of serials and movies where the hero or heroine says “Keep the change” (Aha! the golden words). Still I am glad that they do not give you those chocolates in place of the change like those misery shopkeepers (or canteen guys). You decide to learn from the new experience and teach these guys a lesson the next time (or possibly sue them). But the scene continues the other day you are in a hurry. You heart skips a beat on the sight of a rickshaw…….
And by the way ….
Happy Birthday Chitazzzzz….
P.S. Being an engineering student I have come to the realization that these IDEAL rickshawallas do not exist. Like many other ideal cases we study. 😛